Happy Holidays? A mannequin at the Mall of America.

I am more likely found communing with nature on Black Friday than in the largest and busiest mall in America — not to mention one of the riskiest spots for terrorism activities besides the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

How did this happen? Well, I did it for my youngest son, who was on a quest for a Christmas present for his girlfriend. So it was for romance, which is about the only worthwhile reason for such insanity.

We were in Minneapolis to visit relatives. My son had been to the Mall of America a few weeks ago without me. He didn’t have a girlfriend then, and apparently, something caught his eye at the time that he now simply HAD to have, at risk of life and limb and Black Friday mobs.

After awakening from our Thanksgiving turkey coma, we made our way to the mall. We had little trouble finding a parking spot. We also did not have to fight crowds to make our way through the mall. We soon found the store my son sought and the gift he wanted. (I can’t tell you what it is in case his girlfriend reads my blog. Don’t want to spoil her surprise! Maybe once she’s opened her gift, I will disclose the reason for our quest.) The only overt sign of security we noticed was a guard and his German shepherd in the hallway.

Mission accomplished, we stopped at Starbucks to toast our success. But it was sort of a letdown. I was expecting to regale you with a much more exciting tale, full of adversity and heroism.

At least now my son and I have bragging rights. We can say we visited the Mall of America on Black Friday and survived. I suppose we don’t necessarily have to admit it was so easy, though.